WRITING

MOVIE REVIEW: King Kong

*WRITTEN IN THE HEAT OF ANGER; CONTAINS FOWL LANGUAGE AND A FEW TYPOS, WHICH JUST ADDS TO THE FIRE*

Now, don't hate me for saying this, but what the fuck was all of the rave reviews and hype about? Biggest movie since Titanic? Really? Granted, I was never that interested (okay just a little) in seeing the original, and first remake of King Kong, but if that is what it takes to fully appreciate the spectacle that Peter Jackson has made then I'll rent them STAT.

The first hour of the film was long, boring, and it lagged so much that I felt it would've been a half hour shorter if Jackson did not put so much fucking emphasis on long breaks, and fearful stares. I understand they were meant to heighten the mood, and foreshadowing, but COME ON... Was it really necessary to focus on Jack Black's laugh-out-load crazy eyes/brows as he was saying something v e r y s l o w l y as if he was speaking to an audience of weetards? Hell, everyone was talking like that in the first segment. Get on with the action!

The middle of the film was the action sequence a.k.a the part Alanna liked the most. The special affects were off the "heeeeeeeeeeezy," and I was sitting at the edge of my seat with my mouth covered in full and high anticipation and thrill. The chase scenes, the fighting, the fast paced editing, and scenery blew me away.

Then the final hour was, once again, ZzZzZzZz-worthy. I guess I knew what was coming (King Kong climbing the Empire State Building) so my eagerness to just "get it over with" was getting the best of me.

I think I understood the "love" Kong and Ann (Naomi Watts) had for each other. You have a giant gorilla who at first, was highly intrigued by a tiny blonde human, and then that fascination becomes attraction - not sexual, by emotional - for what Ann had in common with Kong: They're both outsiders just wanting to love and live. I mean, look at the bigger picture here.... Ann is the only female on the ship, she was looked upon as just a size to fit the role, and she would've done anything for money to survive. And you have Kong who is the only of his kind living on this Island, he obviously goes through a lot to survive, and well, these two hopeless romantics meet and the rest is history. I forget exactly what Ann says to Carl (Jack Black) while he is pitching to her the idea of the movie he has in mind, but it had something to do with unreachable love. Ann realized Kong's ability to be her safeguard, and grew very emotionally attached to him not because she wanted to have his babies, but because he was everything that she needed at that moment... comfort, safety, and gentle affection.

Now, back to the last hour of the film. I thought when Ann was climbing up to the very top of the Empire State Building to be closer to Kong after he placed her in the corner to be safe was very stupid, and at that moment my understanding of their connection shattered, but I think I get it now. Was she climbing to get closer to him because she felt he was her only means of protection? She was risking her life just to be with him, just as he was risking his life to keep her safe. I guess her eagerness to stay with him derives from her wanting to feel protected, and this huge gorilla gave her the protection she longed. Or did she feel like she owed him something for saving her life?

I wish Jackson at least showed a short montage of how they carried Kong from the Island to Manhattan, because it seemed a little surreal how they managed to get him to sail. That ship was borderline sinking due to the heavy load, thus why they were all throwing shit off board to keep the weight from getting too heavy, and suddenly they were able to drag a 3435 ton gorilla across the ocean? Hmmmmmmmmm.

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